Life isn’t fair. Never was, never will be.
We’re all dealt hands that we feel are the worst of the lot. Why me? we ask, pandering to our internal self-pity and bemoaning the curse that is our existence as we currently perceive it.
Something that’s missed by most people is the notion of selective suffering/voluntary discomfort. It’s stoic in nature but plays to the root cause of most people’s problems.
That being, they don’t want to suffer.. and that’s fair. Suffering and pain suck, they bring out the worst of our emotional spectrum when we don’t understand the meaning behind our suffering, yet it doesn’t have to be this way forever.
Seneca is quoted to have said “we suffer more in our imagination, than we do in reality”
And nothing could be further from the truth. All the small problems that you allow to manifest into bigger ones from a simple lack of inaction are the result of one thing, our monkey-mind or imagination.
The easiest way to deal with this is take responsibility and ownership of everything, no more blame game bullshit. This allows you to have more control over your lot in life and feel as though there is meaning in the basic things you do like doing the dishes or cooking dinner for loved ones.
Any thoughts or concerns you have, voice them and don’t be afraid of the outcome, you’re sharing what you think to those around you and if they love you and respect you, they’ll respect your opinions and take them into account.
All of this falls back on the theory of cause and effect. The simplest form of this can be seen through physical training. You have the goal of getting stronger, so you join a gym, allowing you to access to strength training equipment.
Forward from this point you acquire a training program and start self-educating yourself and the fundamentals of training and nutrition.
2 years down the track and you’ve kept at it, you’ve added 50kg+ to each of your main compound movements and gained 15kg of bodyweight, most of which is hopefully muscle.
So when we apply this into the model of cause and effect we get this equation:
Cause – Strength training
Effect – Bigger, stronger, faster physique
Requirement – Effort & selective suffering
It’s that damn simple. Whatever you want out of life, you’ve got to willing suffer for.
You want your spouse to stop being a dick, stand up to them and see how much more they respect you for having boundaries. It’s scary because the outcome is unknown but it’ll be better for all parties involved.
Want a better body, a new job, more income. Figure out what you need to suffer for, how much you need to sacrifice and have a plan.
That’s what the majority of your life is going to be, problem rectification and selective suffering for some transient goal way off in a future that you can’t predict.
Now what happens when you achieve these goals?
You pick new goals, harder ones because you’ve grown in confidence from these small achievements which allows you to have multiple referral points that you can draw back on in times of self-doubt, and don’t worry. We all doubt ourselves, it’s fucking natural and means your human…
3 Actionable Takeaways from today
1. Select what you’re willing to suffer for, and how much you’re willing to sacrifice, not what you dream about wanting.
2. Cause and effect make the world go round, go out and take action for the things you want, don’t just mentally masturbate to the feel good thoughts.
3. Have goals set, achieve them and then have more goals!