Backing yourself.

“It’s not arrogance, its complete confidence in your ability to get the job done”

We’ve all heard the trope “be humble” but does anyone truly understand the implications of being so? Yes, it’s good to show interest and not act cocksure right out of the gate but if you’re not asserting yourself and remaining “humble” 24/7, how do you expect to make anything moves in life, reach that new paradigm or get that promotion at work.

The paradoxical aphorism to this is whilst you may be seen as a dick, at-least you’re not a pushover, which is a huge problem in our current society among men.  We’d all be better off being ethical arse-holes than passive pansies

What would happen if you decided to stand up for yourself, tell the world no once in a while and actually develop those confidence reference points? You’d push the needle just that little bit further within the realm of what you can do.
The world isn’t going to end if you tell your boss that you can’t do that extra work this time or you tell your partner that you don’t want to do Taco Tuesdays because it’s become stale for you.
In fact the opposite will happen, you’ll actual garner more respect in both situations and be seen as a dependable person that isn’t going to pander to others because he wants to avoid a small conflict that won’t even matter a week from now.

That’s the beauty of having your own back and knowing that you’ll be fine no matter the outcome, because we have no control over the outcome of anything.

Meditating on the impermanence of yourself, friends, loved ones and the universe as a whole is a painful exercise to undertake. No one enjoys thinking about their spouse dying and being left alone. It’s horrible and for a healthy human being, it’ll more than likely bring a tear to the eye.

Taking a Stoic approach to the outcome of all things alleviates much of the stress and anxiety caused by the situations where you’re required to assert yourself and your will onto the world and others.

You have permission to show the world what you’re good at, why you’re good at it and how you plan on being the fuckin’ best at it! Just because some man-child doesn’t like you stepping up to the plate and owning every situation you’re in, doesn’t mean you shouldn’t. You’ll both die someday, think about that next time you feel a rush of anxiety ride over you whilst you’re in a conflict or complex situation.

Think about the countless people all over the world, who are in the position that you want to be in. How did they get there? By going through the same trials and tribulations that you’re experiencing now. You’re problem isn’t unique at all, someone else has gone through it and made it out the other side in even better shape because they learnt and grew from it.

Isn’t that what you’re here to do? Learn and grow? Become a better human being? Apply some of the knowledge bombs being dropped into your life and see what happens.

Can’t you feel it? The warrior spirit is alive and well inside all of us, we’ve just been told that it’s wrong to use it by people who did the exact same as what we’re trying to accomplish!

When all is said and done, you’ve got you, that’s it. Back yourself so much that others don’t have too! The entire game of life is a ratio of risk/reward, play for the risk, get the rewards!

3 Actionable Takeaways

1. Assert yourself – Show the world who you are and don’t bend, bend the world over!
2. Say No – The hell you get from telling the truth is far more tolerable than the hell you create by lying to keep others happy
3. Stop being passive about your life – We all die one day! I’d rather be able to say Hoka Hey on my death-bed than to be ruminating over the things I should have done but never did.


Author: Earnt Not Given

Writer, Trainer, Creator

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